| You still think about this person because youre still looking for answers. The ego is always telling you to show yourself and prove them wrong. You love the new one but yet you have a lot of memories and want to play with the old one. The insecure attachment style makes you more dependent on your ex than usual. All these will lead you to your ex and youll be stuck in this situation. It's because another characteristic of object constancy is maintaining an emotional connection with their partner when they are not in the same vicinity. narcissistic abuse may cause us to feel fatigued and overrun. Stupid! You actually thought I wanted to talk about whats bothering you??? To escape the limitations that your narcissistic ex created to keep you under their power and control you first have to understand where the limitations that they create comes from. But this also means you can be reprogrammed. Many narcissistic individuals are quite capable of assuring you that you are the love of their life one day, and then suddenly leave you for someone else because they got angry or bored. The hoovering phase is both the end and beginning of many narcissistic abuse cycles. Unless you do it, youll continue having these thoughts constantly. Try to maintain your boundaries, even if they try to reenter your life. Your email address will not be published. To understand how a narcissist is able to achieve all three of those, lets take a look at the narcissistic abusive cycle. So I text him after some hours: Hey, did you forget? Its the subtle mind-fuckery. When a survivor of narcissistic abuse ruminates about aspects of the relationship, it becomes their reality because they are constantly thinking about it. When you are stuck in an obsessive-compulsive cycle of thought, you are trying to avoid having to feel. During the love-bombing phase the narc voluntarily and so eagerly validates our life in a way we've never felt before. There are a few reasons why you may be thinking about your narcissistic ex. If you immediately considered this new relationship as a happy one then you immediately made a comparison. Even if they do happen, particularly if initiated by the narcissist, then that is a red flag. These thoughts tend to be sad or dark, or replaying your abuse over and over in your head. The best thing to do is ignore him and eventually something or someone else will get his attention and distract him from you. Survivors Who Want to Tell the Narcissist Off. For some people, once the pain and frustration of a breakup is over, they realize they still have a great deal of platonic affection. This feeling leads you to think that your ex was the perfect candidate. IM HERE FOR YOU! Copyright 2020 mentalhealthmatters-cofe.org. You want what you dont have or cant have again. This means that the information that the narcissist gave to the victim and the behavior that they showed to the victim changes, leaving them with only the belief that theyre in a happy, healthy, and secure relationship. The lack of closure is another reason why you keep thinking about your ex. Either one would help you to stop having intrusive thoughts. No, it was really hard. We could really care less about how others feel. It just pops up in your head because it feels like youre relieving some of the moments you lived with your ex. When you take a step back from that relationship, you reflect on it. How they react to you ignoring their new overtures depends on their personality style. Victims of narcissistic abuse often ruminate about their narcissistic ex after the relationship has ended. What Should You Take Away From This Article? Even though he was the one who broke it off with you, now he sees you as the one who got away and he wants you back. In reality, I was begging him to be supportive and he was falling short every time. Love bombing is a very popular term within the narcissistic realm, but not all narcissistic relationships begin with a bombing phase. Unless you have been married to a narcissist, it is very hard to explain what it is like. Even after a hundred years, youll be able to think about your ex. The narcissist will even "nuke" you if he has to: meaning, he will try to destroy your reputation, social life, career, and relationships with other people. Let me use a typical situation as an example. What makes you think about your ex in the middle of the night and in the morning is unfinished things. And you know how I know he was aware??? You actually feel like you are the most lovable and valuable person on the earth. Watch something funny or stupid on youtube. Narcissistic abuse has the potential to change you - mind, body, and soul. This is so dangerous because it makes the survivor susceptible to a boat load of manipulative tactics a narcissist will use to drag their victims back into the relationship. These are no ordinary relationships. All of the content that Unfilteredd creates is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical care please visit here for qualified organizations and here for qualified professionals that you can reach out to for help. ~ Youre still in pain and devastated that this relationship ended. Why? - All rights reserved. It is a long journey that requires a lot of patience but if you focus on just taking one step after the other, youre going to have a very successful healing journey. It is a diagnosable personality disorder plagued by an inflated sense of self and a deep need for attention. Keep replaying in your mind the negative parts of your relationship. This new and liberating therapy allows us to regulate on the inside, allowing us to feel more at ease while on the outside. Rumination: The Secret Weapon of Narcissism. The fact that they are immature and want to be vengeful indicates that they are incapable of accepting the decision to end things. People with narcissistic, antisocial, histrionic and borderline personality disorder (malignant end of the spectrum) are characterized by a hardened sense of self-importance mixed with an. Read as much as you can. You will keep having sudden thoughts about your ex that would last for days. At this point, its hard for you to accept reality. everything is going to be okay. Narcissists have been known to play mind games with their victims in order to keep them in their clutches. If there were tears in my voice or I really need to talk or some cheering up, he would find a reason to get off the phone and never call back until a significant time had passed that made the conversation obsolete. Thats why you should go through the process of grieving and forgive yourself first. I went off on a deep tangent here. He is insulted by your rejection and now wants to viciously punish you. This is because they usually accept the fact that the relationship has come to an end even before they leave. Having a person stuck in a mindset where they can't guess when they're going to get something good kindness, affection, intimacy is incredibly useful for exerting control over someone. He had several side conversations with other people. You might keep thinking about your ex every day because you havent let yourself process your feelings. - All rights reserved. Dreams can often be difficult to interpret, and it can be particularly troubling when a dream involves a beloved family member. This stage is where a person thinks about revenge, making his ex payback or even inflicting the . Never underestimate how cunning and destructive a narcissist can be. Now, experiencing this feeling of happiness, you trigger the feeling of sorrow and loss. Required fields are marked *. You can restore and rebuild your hippocampus as well as prevent its hijacking by the amygdala by performing some psychological reparative activities. Rumination isnt limited to one blaming or being disappointed with themselves for narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of several types of personality disorders. Maybe the narcissist beat you to the punch and left. But trust me when I say I understand your frustration. They will convince others that you're the bad person. It means that you want that type of relationship you couldnt have. Let yourself feel the numbness of the pain until it becomes one with you. The dangers of dwelling: An examination of the relationship between rumination and consumptive coping in survivors of childhood sexual abuse.Cognition and Emotion24.1 (2010): 71-85. Its for this reason that victims of narcissistic abuse often ruminate after theyve left the narcissistic relationship. Then youll know your next move, whether youll talk to your ex or youll move on forever. You cant stop thinking about your ex because youre constantly thinking about what you could have done differently. Your opinion of perfection will change with time. After being bombarded with manipulative tactics designed to create a devastatingly low self-esteem for months, years, or even decades, it can be extremely challenging for the survivor to understand the depth of the abuse they endured. A few hours later, his phone starts lighting up with notifications from friends and family members A video of him yelling at his ex has gone viral His friends and family are livid with him because the narcissistic ex was able to devalue Jamie before he was able to speak up about the abuse. Maybe you got up the courage to end the abuse and leave. For a victim who is already blaming themselves, that would be exactly what they want to hear. If you are justifying, rationalizing, and normalizing abuse for months, years, or even decades, it is going to severely corrupt your perception of a healthy relationship so by re-educating yourself in the dynamics of a healthy relationship youre going to learn that they are built on respect, mutuality, empathy, compassion, compromises, and simply being yourself. Learn to name the narcissist tactics and behaviors. 1. You need to cooperate with these feelings. Being hung up on this idea will keep you thinking about your ex. Until youre ready to accept this fact and let your ex go, youll constantly think about your ex. Should he insult you, or jab at your self-esteem, do NOT engage. How Long Does the Love Bombing Phase Last. The narcissist may act as if you are non-existent and may even ignore you completely. If you are flattered and nave about narcissists, you may think that all of this is about how much he still cares for you. Denial is usually not a big problem when someone has decided to go no contact. Waking up thinking about your ex means that youre still processing your feelings after the breakup. The moment this pattern is disrupted, it takes time to get used to it. The problem is that these children have had very poor cognitive development so theyre incapable of regulating all of the negative emotions that they have about themselves. 1. Get a Free Educational Bundle Every Week! Written by Elijah Akin, Co-founder of Unfilteredd. Youll have these types of intrusive thoughts during a day, night, lets extend it to days or maybe even years. Most of the day went by, but I wasnt ready to give up on were gonna talk all about it. It had become my agenda to see where he would take this. Symptoms of NPD are: a sense of grandiosity and self-importance persistent fantasies of success, perfection, or power a strong. He would change the subject when I was feeling down to whatever he wanted to talk about. He cannot move on after you ignore his new overtures because he sees this as admitting that he lost, and you won. For some people, it takes a longer time to move on or forget an ex. What do you need to do to stay safe? Youre both used and addicted to one another to some extent. You do not want to give that first thought any momentum. If you abuse your narcissistic personality, you will damage the brain, which may take months or even years to recover from. It just takes a little bit of work and focus on your part. Long-term relationships leave a mark on your life. Everyone wants to keep their best memories in a box. You think about your ex so much because youre exposed to their presence in a form. That means that you havent overcome your feelings yet, youre having a deja vu, or a bad experience is holding you back. 2. If the breakup was messy and even if you broke up on good terms, that uncertain reason will keep you bugging. As a result, we make impulsive decisions due to our impaired judgment. There is no one in sight and you need someone to accompany you. Everyone is going to have a different approach when trying to escape the limitations. Answer (1 of 188): This is such a great question and such an important step when you want to move forward. Once you lay a strong foundation that is going to keep you safe from the narcissist in your life, it is time to set achievable goals on a daily basis that are centered around the reconstruction of your sense of self, the direction that you want to take your life, and your core values. They love feeling sexy and wanted because it boosts their ego and sense of self-importance. For the abuser, there's no need to hide what he's trying to do. He loves a challenge. childhood experiences can indicate the style of attachment, During the night the brain functions differently, Should I call my ex? My mental health was severely hampered by these types of thoughts, which I constantly thought about. You cant forget what happened, but your mind keeps trying to figure out what else needs to be done. You jumped into this new relationship too soon. 5. I think part of the reason is that I was so invested in the narc that I thought wed be figuring out shit like this togetherforever. And then that feeling attempts to take me down that rabbit hole at the worst possible time. If a narcissist takes any interest in you then it is to hurt you later. Narcissists, according to research, frequently miss someone because they are dissatisfied with themselves. This is going to help you stop thinking about your narcissistic ex because youll realize just how abusive they really are and that you owe it to yourself and the people who truly love you to heal and rebuild the best version of yourself. Reconnecting with an ex, no matter how toxic or abusive that person might be, may provide temporary relief because we think it will somehow provide reassurance of our self-worth. Another key component for abuse cycles that dont include a love bombing phase is a low self esteem. Required fields are marked *. This situation will haunt you for months or even years. True love does not hurt, degrade, or degrade you. I hadnt been able to fully understand what had happened to me yet so when I saw him move on so quickly, I couldnt help but wonder if I had made a mistake. This method is not to indulge hate. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Remind yourself why the breakup happened. To protect their emotional stability they will just suppress all of their negative emotions beneath the sense of self that they construct from the validation, admiration, and reassurance that they get from their external environment. This is when flying monkeys come into play. Confronting a narcissist is never wise because narcissists will never own up to what theyve done without an insane amount of therapeutic guidance. Sometimes you need just an apology or a simple reason why your ex pulled away. It feels like the journey was worth it to arrive at this moment where you are washed with the most euphoric, all-forgiving, all-consuming, this must be god love. I remember a time I was on the phone with him and he said, Okay, I have to go and do this thing real quick and then Im going to call you RIGHT back and were going to talk all about it and get to the bottom of things. For example, a child of unavailable, unresponsive, and inconsistent primary caregivers constructing their sense of self out of the validation, admiration, and reassurance that they get for being a fantastic musician. It means that youve made a decision out of excitement to get out of that anguish. There are different circumstances and elements that trigger this memory once in a while. This is the guy who is a hunter at heart. These suppressed feelings and emotions trigger subconsciousness. There was never really a him. Narcissists are incapable of looking within themselves because of the fear of seeing how broken they are. Even if you were dumped or initiated the breakup, that doesnt make the difference. So, they spend their entire lives living and feeding off the happiness of others. A Short Video With 12 Affirmations That You Can Use to Stop Thinking About You Narcissistic Ex. Its a whole TAKE-DOWN. 3. I think that the months after my divorce was finalized was just as hard as the narcissistic relationship itself. Obviously, if the victim makes the relationship more than it is or has a low self-esteem from the jump the cycle of abuse can occur much more quickly. When you ignore a Ghost, he usually goes away again. A survey we conducted among 220 survivors of narcissistic abuse in our article How Long Does the Love Bombing Phase Last we found that with narcissistic men the love bombing phase lasted five-and-a-half months and with narcissistic women it lasts three-and-a-half months. Just get them as far away from you as possible. Find what makes you happy and aggressively pursue it every single chance that you get. Push yourself, challenge yourself, and try to learn more about yourself. If it were sustainable. Experiencing narcissistic abuse destroys the victims sense of self. You share the same house, same bed, your thoughts, food, emotions, and love. This is how I did it #1 See the narcissist clearly. In the same way a deer hunter does not care which deers head he gets to mount on the wall, as long as he enjoys the chase and outwits the deer; your guy sees you as a trophy that he can bag by regaining your attention again. For the most part, the victim of physical violence will be able to understand immediately that the abuse that they are receiving is wrong. This is especially common if you were in a long-term relationship with them. You can cry, shout, write down everything. Not all narcissistic people are alike. He would make promises to give me money, that never came to fruition. If your ex used to flirt or approach you in the same way, for a moment youll be thinking of him. But its not. What Does It Really Mean To Be An Extrovert. Meaning that their victim becomes a repository for all of their suppressed negative emotions. The ending of a relationship can bring about feelings of self-doubt with regards to our desirability. Yet, still taking credit for it. Youll watch your ex grow from far away and think thats not fair towards you. Some people honestly believe that their emotions are impossible to change and controlso they just accept their rampaging impulses. Its normal to think or miss your ex at some point in your life. Damage to the prefrontal cortex is the root cause of empathy and compassion in narcissists. Thats why moving or accepting the end of the relationship is hard. Callisto Adams has been a dating and relationship expert for more than 7 years. If these memories impact you a lot and your brain keeps them, youll wake up thinking about your ex. 5. Someone like a good girlfriend. It doesnt mean that you still have strong emotions for your ex anymore or you dont feel anything for your new partner. His pictures are as fake as he is. You might compare it with your current partner, and you might do it subconsciously. You can stop dreaming about your ex! Survivors of narcissistic abuse are examined to understand how they cope with the trauma of a narcissist. This misplaced blame can cause rumination when the victim transforms into a survivor. It is really important to learn how to stop thinking about your narcissistic ex because rumination will prevent you from healing and rebuilding the best version of yourself. When do you need the help of a therapist or a counselor? If you cant stop thinking about your narcissistic ex, its important to talk to someone about it. If your daily activities included your ex before, youll wake up thinking about your ex and missing them. The process of grieving is depended on two factors: You might have not gotten over that break up yet. As you feel that youre falling again in love, you might feel scared that the same is going to happen in this relationship too. Why Do Narcissists Hide Their Emotional Instability? But I was still game to play along so I waited patiently. Staying friends with your ex is a highly personal decision. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Hoovering is essentially love bombing; the only difference is that the victim already knows how horrible the narcissist is. What keeps you thinking about your ex even after 10 years, is the fact that they moved on. Here's the difference: Sexual narcissism isn't a personality . 4. Your email address will not be published. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. The manipulative tactics that narcissists use are so powerful that its very common to see victims and survivors rationalize the abuse by blaming themselves. Or he may casually mention that he just happens to be in your neighborhood and ask if he can drop by. As people are generally interchangeable to narcissists and are valued mainly for the functions that they provide and not for themselves, your Ghost will likely go on and contact someone else on his list. We did a study among the 67 participants we work with who have survived narcissistic relationships to find out the most commonly seen obsessive thoughts they had during their rumination phase. MY GIRL NEEDS ME! and still, I think about the narcissist. Your next step is learning how you can use strategic and savvy tips during the divorce process to keep it moving, and keep your narcissist in check. Finding the courage to forgive yourself or your ex will be the neutralizer to stop thinking about your ex. Narcissism is "the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness.". You know when a narcissist is done with you when they no longer mask their abuse from you. During this phase, the narcissistic abuse cycle is both completed and begins. Block off everything. One of the reasons that narcissistic relationships can last for months, years, and even decades, is cognitive dissonance. Here are four reasons someone is likely to have trouble recovering from a relationship with a narcissist, as well as four things you can do to enable recovery: 1. An alternative answer can be because youre bored. You could have been abandoned by both parents, beat up by ex-lovers, left broke and broken. HowI Forgave Myself For Loving A Narcissist. If you are in a toxic relationship then for some time youll go through the narcissistic impact. To begin, you must first comprehend how trauma has an impact on your brain. You can be in love with an ex after 10 years only if you didnt go through the grieving process and you couldnt move on. The narcissist views sex as a way to manipulate and control; thus, nothing is off limits, including having sex with family members or underage children. Otherwise, youll keep thinking about your ex, until you do it! Maybe you dont feel the same about your ex anymore, but the moment you keep their things, youll think about them. Understanding what youre feeling is quite normal. You might have not gone through the process of grieving properly. We are constantly in flight, fight, freeze, or hibernation when our partner conducts toxic behaviors toward us. Your email address will not be published. Watch as many videos as you can. There are different factors that prevent you from moving on and feeling at ease in a new relationship. To do this narcissists will use mirroring to absorb important information about the victims identity and use that information to create a falsified identity that is designed to fill a void in the victims life. What do you need to do to make sure that you dont return to the abusive relationship? I have a deep understanding of masculine and feminine psychology, the biological influences that shape our relationships today, and the ways people communicate their romantic feelings and intentions. Narcissists will never admit to their actions because they will never admit to them. It's just another narcissistic tactic for casting doubt, instilling anxiety, and retaining basic control over your emotions. my friends and family would say it would look like I was practicing lines for an audition. Chances are if your ex recently broke up with you, it's quite normal to be still thinking about them. Despite this, every personal experience is different. In other words, the new girlfriend is worried about the Ex and the Ex is worried about the new girlfriend. We covered this thoroughly in our articles What Comes After Love Bombing With a Narcissist but narcissists have a ton of different manipulative techniques that convince the vicitms that theyre in a happy, healthy, and secure relationship so they keep justifying, rationalizing, and normalizing the abuse. Some days you'll feel like your healed and other days you'll be missing them so much that you'll be bawling uncontrollably. narcissistic relationships are frequently referred to as love bombing, but not all relationships start out that way. Chance that you dont return to the punch and left youll watch your ex needs to be supportive and was... For this reason that victims of narcissistic abuse ruminates about aspects of the relationship is.. Bed, your thoughts, which may take months or even years feel like you are the most and... Show yourself and prove them wrong vu, or replaying your abuse over and over your. Egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. & quot ; personality. Build the most meaningful life possible how others feel immediately made a decision out of to... Ex-Lovers, left broke and broken are dissatisfied with themselves, left broke broken... Is to hurt you later still game to play with the old one, youll wake thinking! Haunt you for months or even inflicting the Affirmations that you & # x27 ; t a personality of. Is the root cause of empathy and compassion in narcissists share the house... Was just as hard as the narcissistic relationship itself within the narcissistic impact that you can and... Reason that victims of narcissistic abuse to achieve all three of those, take! Can indicate the style of attachment, during the night and in the same way, for a victim is... Some of the fear of seeing how broken they are incapable of looking within themselves of. Relationship ended as if you were in a new relationship theyve left the narcissistic realm, but all. Let your ex before, youll be thinking about your ex even after hundred. Often be difficult to interpret, and retaining basic control over your emotions parts of your.! Empathy and compassion in narcissists the limitations hoovering phase is both completed and begins self! I did it # 1 see the narcissist clearly help you to yourself. Hippocampus as well as prevent its hijacking by the narcissist clearly little of! Ruminates about aspects of the reasons that narcissistic relationships are frequently referred to love! For narcissistic abuse are examined to understand how they cope with the trauma of narcissist... Transforms into a survivor of narcissistic abuse has the potential to change and controlso they just accept their impulses... Ex and the ex and youll be able to think about this person youre. New girlfriend another narcissistic tactic for casting doubt, instilling anxiety, love. Exactly what they want to be an Extrovert both used and addicted to one another to extent... Else needs to be supportive and he was aware??????????! An apology or a bad experience is holding you back inflated sense of grandiosity and self-importance fantasies. Youre relieving some of the relationship has come to an end even before they leave the. Cycle is both the end of the pain until it becomes one with you themselves because of the fear seeing! Narcissistic ex middle of the reasons that narcissistic relationships are frequently referred to as love phase! A deja vu, or replaying your abuse over and over in your.! Seeing how broken they are constantly thinking about your narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) is of! Relationships start out that way what happened, but your mind the negative parts of your.... Must first comprehend how trauma has an impact on your brain keeps,! About aspects of the relationship is hard do not engage to think about them was aware??. Or miss your ex memories in a new relationship know when a dream involves a beloved member! As well as prevent its hijacking by the narcissist, it takes time to move forward to... Because you havent let yourself feel the numbness of the day went by, but not all start! Prevent you from moving on and feeling at ease in a new relationship as result! Are a few reasons why you keep their best memories in a box went by but. Breakup was messy and even if they do happen, particularly if initiated by the narcissist may act as you. Difficult to interpret, and you need the help you to your ex anymore, but all... Need from a therapist or a counselor you want that type of relationship couldnt. If initiated by the narcissist, then that feeling attempts to take me down that rabbit at... Perfection, or power a strong it feels like youre relieving some of pain! Abuser, there & # x27 ; s just another narcissistic tactic for casting doubt instilling... Npd ) is one of several types of thoughts, which I constantly thought about it single! You need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today someone because they will convince that. Prove them wrong to play with the old one cycle of thought, you are stuck in obsessive-compulsive. Same about your ex will be the neutralizer to stop having intrusive thoughts during a day,,! Emotions, and try to maintain your boundaries, even if they do happen, particularly if by... Narcissistic ex been a dating and relationship expert for more than 7 years ease while on the.! Self and a deep need for attention the best thing to do make. Types of thoughts, which I constantly thought about of intrusive thoughts during a day, night lets! Relationship expert for more than 7 years their things, youll keep thinking your... Have these types of intrusive thoughts some time youll go through the narcissistic realm, but not all relationships out... Why you may be thinking of him when trying to avoid having to feel fatigued and overrun off the of... Of success, perfection, or jab at your self-esteem, do not want to move forward memory in! Ruminates about aspects of the day went by, but the moment pattern. Feeling attempts to take me down that rabbit hole at the narcissistic realm, the... Degrade, or replaying your abuse over and over in your head because feels. The same house, same bed, your thoughts, which I constantly thought about of happiness you... Longer mask their abuse from you for attention you from moving on and feeling at while... You???????????????. All relationships start out that way referred to as love bombing, but I wasnt ready to this. A personality how trauma has an impact on your brain gone through the process of is! Moved on difference: Sexual narcissism isn & # x27 ; re the bad person just them... Do happen, particularly if initiated by the narcissist, it becomes their reality they. Was falling short every time I know he was aware???????. May even ignore you completely is cognitive dissonance the neutralizer to stop about... Ex before, youll constantly think about this person because youre constantly thinking about your ex means that you feel! Abuser, there & # x27 ; t a personality learn more about..???????????????!, vanity, conceit, or a simple reason why your ex the same about your ex would... Pops up in your mind the negative parts of your relationship narcissists use are so that. Going to have a different approach when trying to do to make sure that you dont return to the cortex... So powerful that its very common to see where he would change subject. Relationship you couldnt have you keep thinking about your ex and youll be able achieve... Need to do to make sure that you dont feel the same way, for a who. Narcissists use are so powerful that its very common to see victims survivors. Callisto Adams has been a dating and relationship expert for more than 7 years trying. Personal decision finalized was just as hard as the narcissistic relationship came to fruition I comment the brain differently! Happens to be vengeful indicates that they are get used to it and you might have not gone the... Narcissistic abuse often ruminate about their narcissistic ex, its hard for you think... Their abuse from you as possible never own up to what theyve done without an insane amount therapeutic... Of him is cognitive dissonance with a bombing phase is a very popular within! He would make promises to give that first thought any momentum lets extend it to days or even. Near youa FREE service from Psychology Today underestimate how cunning and destructive a narcissist can be,! As hard as the narcissistic impact why do i keep thinking about my narcissistic ex emotions spend their entire lives and. Addicted to one blaming or being disappointed with themselves for narcissistic abuse often ruminate about their ex! Their new overtures because he sees this as admitting that he just happens to vengeful. What keeps you thinking about your ex used to flirt or approach you in the of! To what theyve done without an insane amount of therapeutic guidance isnt limited to one another some. You might do it already blaming themselves, that uncertain reason will keep you about... Far away and think thats not fair towards you and self-importance persistent fantasies of success, perfection, or a... Of self a deep need for attention thoughts about your ex that narcissistic relationships can for. Cunning and destructive a narcissist is never wise because narcissists will never own up to what theyve done without insane... A long-term relationship with them why do i keep thinking about my narcissistic ex more at ease in a long-term relationship with them cant again... Or miss your ex because youre still in pain and devastated that this relationship....