I've never thought about going for a drink alone, but some of you ladies make it sound mighty tempting- going out for a pint and a good read sounds J. up my ally this Friday afternoon! No. try it, be honest, truthful, and if its meant to be, its meant to be. "[I]f you find that your partner is more engaged with text messaging friends or on social media when you're with them, this is a sign that they are not present in the relationship," Hershenson says. So, I told him i dont want him to feel he has to ask me whenever he wants to do anything. But, that's not the point of your post so I digress. honey, if you are not doing anything you are not sopossed to to, then dont give it another thought. But there's obviously cases where the spouse is comfortable with the environment like you described J. M. so I don't see an issue. I am not sure what the inside of a bar looks like nowadays.We J. don't go anyway. 05-17-2012, 01:53 PM steve1282 : Location: Dallas. I could understand drinking a little too much, but once you reach the level of passing out that borderlines alcoholism. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. pastoralcucumbers I kinda had a feeling you were probably like meaffected negatively by a past relationship. If there are variables such as having a partner do you over while you stayed at home or have done someone over yourself, it is very understandable to have this trust issue and coming to terms with allowing it will take some time. I do think it is okay to have opposite sex friends. Just tonight I decided if we are going to have a future together, I need to give him his time to himself and not bombard him with texts. My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortable.in his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. My bf WAS texting me from the bar, but that has tapered off. Do you really want a boyfriend who drinks heavily till he passes out? Wouldn't dream of it. Also, there can be some exceptions and ultimately, you and your partner probably know your relationship best, so just because they've done one of these things before doesn't necessarily mean that they're done with you or have completely checked out. I am sorry, it is hard to deal with, i know. Also, you've officially met a women who has no attraction whatsoever to other women!! Anyone that cant handle that isnt ready for a real relationship. I did the club scene in college, but that kinda got out of my system too. He better go alone, because I won't be wasting my time in a place like that. Needless to say, the abuse of such substances can negatively affect decision-making. He had work but still a simple text would've done. He knew that I was not going to be hooking up with anyone. Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. Traveling for work aside, if your partner tries to leave you behind, that's probably not a great sign. You know, if you're meeting up with friends at a bar and you get there early. Everyone on this site is so over dramatic! So..your unease, even if you DIDN'T have a bad experience from before, is understandable. I thought this was an interesting point of view, and it made sense because women are in touch with the emotional side of attraction more than men are. what do I do? But it got old. "It likely means that they don't want you in family photos and/or on their family's mind. If you recognize that your partner does these things without you, it doesn't mean that the relationship is definitely over, but it does probably mean that there's some sort of problem there. But its called trust. If he doesn't give you the reaction your after. I tell it like it is. It's really important to M. that I have connected, powerful, deep friendships. You get anxious when your boyfriend goes out because you're worried he's cheating, or that you aren't good enough and he'll find someone better. If he cares about you telling you what he is up to would just be second nature. He helped make me feel comfortable in gay nightlife and, eventually by extension, being gay in everyday life. I don't look down upon or judge others for hanging out with those of the opposite sex. remerz I'm sorry to say hes not worth ti. 1. If it isn't, then do what you want. She went out with the girls one too many times. (You won't be happy if your wife is gone every night.) So I decided to grab a drink at the local dive bar that I love. Are you his parole officer or his girlfriend? I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. 2) Your boyfriend texts you the whole time..that's great! Trust is arguably . Answer: I think you'll both be happier if you let her go out with friends within reason, of course. Yes I allow my husband to go out without M. no matter the gender. In my youth I dated a bar owner for six years and the drama surrounding that (and every OTHER BAR I've ever been in) was enough to turn M. away from that scene for life. He he knows your always in he feels safe. Why boyfriend doesn't call? nah. 14. agirlwithnoname We dont live together, we arent married. I guess I have.. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, 21 hours ago, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By Ive broken up with him 3 times in the 6 yrs we`ve been together, But always take him back cos im a (sad) and lonely single mom. It would be awkward coz we usually hang out with each other alongside other people. he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. Dont fall for this my life is in the hole either. My boyfriend M 23 is losing feelings for me F 20 and idk what to do. So, on both ends of things, no worries. I know that no matter who my husband meets, talks to, get hit on by, that he is devoted to M. and my kids and he feels the same way about M.. Do I do that without my SO? He wanted to go to bars CONSTANTLY. I don't seek them out for conversation or flirt with them. But we can do that because we are older and have an understanding of what we want out of life. We agreed that going out alone with single people of the opposite sex is giving off the wrong impression that there might be something going on even though there isn'tso we don't do it. I went to see my boyfriend in the worst place in Vancouver downtown and he was standing outside of the bar and this was late at night by the way. So no - when we were dating I did go out dancing quite a bit with my girlfriends - and of course we were hit on - but I never went home with anyone or to anyone other than my hubs. She doesnt mean ask permission. My husband will not go out to bars or clubs without M., he thinks it is wrong and makes him uncomfortablein his defense he is devilishly handsome and gets hit on like no one I have ever seen, so I get where he is coming from. I was always like, I can't help it, we're in a bar and apparently I'm a hot commodity, ha! Hafta to do it at home I guess. Now sometimes I will go out ot a bar with some of my friends. My husband LOVES when I take off to the pub for a pint and a good read. We don't forbid each other from seeing anyone. When guys go to strip clubs to ogle "hot . Here^s what I got from what I read: 1. Big difference. I guess I J. can't really imagine being in a relationship with someone that I didn't trust enough to be "allowed" to hang out with the opposite sex. Boyfriends are different than husbands. im **** off he doesnt call but should i be worried or just let it go? Some men J. have very flirtatious personalities. No, I could care less. Our relationship as a family is great, we all get along, ex-wife included. Good luck. "And if . Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk What did you do guys if you really really miss someone but you dont want to text or call him? It's good "guy" time doesn't bother M. Now, if it was a strip club he was going to, my answer would then be no :). They are in a long distance relationship and that's not about sitting at home, missing and texting each other 24/7, gosh. I went to sleep at 11 pm and now it's 6 am in the morning and he hasn't messaged me at all. So my boyfriend is becoming much more distant as of late. It is all because of my trust issue. If he is out all night having "fun" and doing all this ****, hes not up to the challenge for being your boyfriend. Sorry, but I think that's wrong. It wouldn't matter who it was it would be that they don't want to be around us that would bug M., ya know? Paul: "Start with going to a movie by yourself or going out to dinner by yourself. Yes, if you've provided all the details. Rizzoli & Isles is an American crime drama series based on the novels by Tess Gerritsen, starring Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander as the respective title characters. Anyway, to each his own regarding going out to a bar with or without our SO. My advice - Hangout with your friends, go places that interest you without him and make sure he knows your having fun without him but don't rub it in his face. If it doesn't work, try a new combination. The problem with being alone is, that usually means you'll have to find people to talk to and thats sorta the fishy part for the spouses I think. Started Saturday at 12:43 AM, By My boyfriend goes out all night and doesnt call or text me a By entering this site you declare If im with someone i trust fine, go have fun. I do not care at all. A few slurred hey baby I'm OKs are not too much to ask. Mostly for work, like happy hours. I tried to make friends with the girls, but it didnt help because when he made a comment about how good she looked in the thong, it showed no regard for me. So I'm thinking all of you ladies would think I was bad. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! To an insecure girlfriend, she might assume guys' nights consist of heading to the strip club, then going to a seedy rub-and-tug afterward. I go with the women, some bring husbands and there are occasionally some of thier male friends that wander in. I am so mad about this and again he said that he was going to call me at 12 am but he didn't. He TEXTS YOU while he's OUT WITH THE BOYS?! I have not a single reason to? It is so **** hard that I can't leave but I know I have a choice and it is difficult. I did it again. The good thing about that is when he turns M. on or says sexy things to M., I don't have to turn him down and I get to go home with him! Eventually I broke down, had a hard time with it, and she dumped me. The only time he gets phone calls is when I wake up at 3am and hes not home. Sex is often a part of healthy, committed relationships, so if you two aren't getting intimate anymore, that might be an indication that something's not right. I'm 36 and he is 40, with two young kids who are adorable. I know I can trust him. We care about each other but we aren't crazy. It's totally not like that. And I kinda think your J. as likely to get picked up having a coffee at starbucks. Dont laugh but normally I go out with my girls to the karaoke bar or this diner/ bar thing where we live, my spouse to Hooters (ew) or the sports bar and we dont have issues because its planned in advance and we know who the other person is hanging with. It is all about intent. We LIKE being home together. How do I know, bad breakup. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. I remember when i had doubts about my boyfriend, i was really scared to tell him because i was afraid that it might get him upset or **** off and make it seem like i dont trust him. this has been posted a long time ago and i hope you're not with him anymore. I do think individuals should have "M. time" and couples should have dates. And I suppose it would depend on that. Inevitably he DOES get hit on by both men and women. Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? All about the power play. But I've certainly made myself a margarita at home alone :) If I were to do that, or my husband were to do that, I personally would think that's odd -- or 'something' is up (due to our personalities, not because we don't trust one another). I did indeed go and sit next to people I hadn't seen in months including some single men and proceeded to hug and be picked up by every guy I knew (oh how I love this bar, I'm 6 foot- so its rare to get the hug where people pick you up in the air and you get to feel like a girl lol) so anyway I do this every so often (usually once a month when my boyfriend has his Irish meeting, we'll take one car after dropping Emmy off with her dad, and I'll go here while he does his meeting) and usually my boyfriend will meet M. out or I will meet him out at some point in the night and we'll hang out with friends and have fun, but for a good portion I'm happily talking to whoever I want to, not gender biased or relationship status biased. All this woman wants to know is if her boyfriend is going out, because when you care for someone, it just nice to know. That's different. Started January 23, By To use this example: "I don't want to be . I don't say that he should stay with me all the time, but he can send me a message from time to time. Yes, crazy to let someone else's actions that do not directly affect you upset you. So, yes, if I lived in a town like that, I would definitely have my "local" My husband and I aren't really "bar people"he did that scene while in the military and got it out of his system. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. So *would* I go to a bar w/out my spouse? he always blames it on being wasted and passing out. Warning signs that your male partner is emotionally controlling you. Did you find this post helpful? I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. I do not drink but I go to have girl time and chat. . My boyfriend was a loner but when he made an effort to date me, he knew exactly what respect and proper behavior was. Ahhhh, the Casino has a hold on him. While telling him your problem just say I know its long distance which makes it hard for the both of us but I feel like I wanna talk to you more, and it worries me that you're always drinking and im afraid that there might be another girl out there. Ok, he went out without your permission, I mean, without notifying you. He aint changing especially if you arent there. That's awesome. My ex cheated on M. once and i had him on a very short leash for a while. What does it mean when a man call & text you several times every day eventh My Boyfriend doesn't like if I call him from his name. I would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that he knows and trusts that. Get a shock collar too so if steps out line you can zap him. No, I know it is. My Hubby Do Not Let Me Go Out When I Wanna Have a Girl Night outwhy? Luckily for us both, neither of us are the 'bar/club going on a regular basis' kind of people. . My problem is I'm very, very jealous when my husband goes out without me. Naturally, the latter should raise more eyebrows. It J. seems silly to worry when there is J. nothing to worry about. He is away but he is not gone. Every hour of his free time doesn't have to be dedicated to you. He was at the club for our college. Keep being yourself, good relationships are hard to come by, and people are only jealous of yours :). We met online and rea Why does he text me all day about sweet things and stuff but never call? I hug everyone and usually kiss them on the cheek.. no matter the gender. My Long Distance Girlfriend won't video call with me. His words said no but his actions usually said yes. You are still an individual. We are comfortable with each other and trust each other 100%!! It doesn't seem like he is sticking around for you. I trust him, too. If he was the type of person that wanted to hang out in bars and set that example for his child, I wouldn't have even bothered with dating him. He texts you while he's out with the boys? Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. "Not including you in family events is a pretty good indicator that your partner has checked out of the relationship," Theresa Herring, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper in an email exchange. 3. I had to sleep with him I was his wife, she chose to sleep with M.. Effed up but true. (ok i'm being nice, i think it sends that message loud and clear, because men are horny pigs :) -said with love lol.) He is very trusthworthy and honest, etc. If not, he'll just call you the next morning and explain his night.. you know? Of course it's important to have time away from your partner and a life of your own. He has female friends too, but unless its a large group, I am not ok with that and he understands that. I prefer to go out with himbut we both believe that it's important to do things on our own too. Also, my bf will flirt with girls, and I find out about it the next daythis doesn't make me too happy. Hope your ok x. The thing last time he said he wouldn't get drunk and he did. That's a different matter. Before telling your partner something like this, pragmatism demands some thought first to how much you're asking and expecting a person to change. I feel any interactions should be allowed but also feel that if you're in a committed relationship and someone has an issue with a particular person your relationship comes first obviously and while you won't be "controlled" by your spouse you should definitely take their opinion into account and compromise and adjust behavior accordingly. The fastest way to see a mans true colours if he does run, even better. Yuck. It would be one thing if your SO is telling you where you can and cannot go. He has become very moody Sudden irritability is never a pleasant thing to put up with, but it happens; some people just go through stressful times in their lives and take it out on the wrong people on a daily basis. We've agreed to be monogamous not by default but because it feels right for us. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. =). If I'm going to go out it will be with my SO. 1. He even texts me when he is out, and calls or texts when he gets home. In other words, one can never win when dating an insecure person male or female. In response, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids. Because it shows you trust him. Don't make the same mistake I did. That is exactly what's going on with me. So here is how four women describe their experiences when a man went down on them. that can be too easily taken as "I AM AVAILABLE!" This is something we as humans can't help. I get really worried whenever they go out drinking or clubbing together because I have a bad feeling about what my girlfriend may be like drunk as she used to hook up a lot before we meet. "When people start to contemplate breaking up, they tend to associate more with single people because they assume this is likely to become their lifestyle," Herring says. Let's look at your situation, versus mine: 1) Your boyfriend doesn't go to the bar without you that often. Some people trust because they are good people and lack experience and it's just the right thing to do. While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. Just get him chipped like a spaniel at the vet so you can track him. He has never given M. a reason to worry about that even if he went with females. You still can go out. Then ask yourself if he really cares what you do. I arrived alone and I left alone. She dumped me for a guy she met there one night. Its not ****ing baseball. I trust him to make choices that won't betray my needs and wishes (this wasn't always true). I think the way it is going is great and that in time you won't worry about it and your relationship will deepen because of it.. Let's face it - we all know bars can be totally unconducive places for relationships. call M. old fashion, but have not been to a bar with my husband or with out in 15 years. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally I have lots of friends, male and female - and I like people, male and female. We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. he just seemed super down about how his life is going, is this why i might be feeling so neglected by him? But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him. He just wants you to look the other way. Smackin' The ex's butt toward swinging floor. <3. I have talked to too many girls and guys that bitterly recalled how one drink too many let their inhibitions lower enough that they got too huggy and hormones took over ending a relationship. He goes to bed without me (20 f) now and we sleep back to back. Fast forward to today, I had an awesome girlfriend, whom I encouraged to have her own life outside our relationship. I really prefer dinning room tables and strong coffee though. The campaign, which includes a series of playful and humorous ads, aims to position Tinder as a fun and lighthearted platform for meeting new people. You met him at a bar. that is the last message i want to send. I have a friend that I met on eharmony. Enjoy those evenings when he is out and look forward to the next time you see him. Really.? I am one of those guys who doesn't drink often so when I do I also end up on a couch somewhere but I have good friends who protect me .won't let me drive etc.. Yes, A LOT in his profession. Even then hes moody and doesnt pay me much attention. He has the right to have a life, gosh. Do the same to him hun. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. Learn to trust your partner. He never mentions any friends and doesn't. We didn't speak since 6. I do the same thing for a girls night out. If it was a few hours I'd be fine but he goes off grid for like 10/12 hours at a time and then texts to say his phone died, or he left it at home etc should I be questioning this? Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. S.H I agree completely. But its not like we would go kissing others anyways but just saying Im sorry for saying all this, its not that i dont trust you its just i'd prefer you to be honest with me and tell me the truth rather than putting up with everything, it would make it easier for the both of us and our relationship! Now I don't know how he would feel or a possible future boyfriend would feel. It's not that we can't go out, we J. don't want to. I truly don't need the attention to feel good. I see both sides here. Maintaining organization for your electronics is very enjoyable. He goes with a buddy of his. ***My hubby used to get mad when we'd be out for drinks together and he'd go to the bathroom and come back and find a guy talking to M.. I like how you worded it. Its not in my personality to go to a bar alone.but I have gone out to the bar with some girlfriends and/or my SIL. Luckily, we have every other weekend to ourselves when our kids are at our ex's house. My husband HATES it!! about 60-70 % of all females at Los Angeles bars are already taken and there with girlfriends or they are actually there with their boyfriends lmao. Anyway what are your thoughts on the above situation? Troy loves M. and only M., he wants only M., you put him in a room with naked women he would have the most uncomfortable look on his face. It premiered on TNT on July 12, 2010, and set a record as cable TV's most watched commercial-supported series launch. If you want to keep this guy then you will have to learn to give him his freedom. yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! If my husband wanted to go, I would have to put any twinge of jealousy or insecurity I might have away. On weekends I don't have my kids, I . Started Friday at 03:52 AM, By I had an ex bf from years ago. If you try to control things he will be running for the hills. IMO, this is one of those make or break moments of a relationship. There's really very little I can do to *make* him act with integrity and honor, besides doing so myself. He does not drink and he does not like the smell of smoke and if he wanted to go somewere like that by himself something would be up. New episodes air Mondays on Facebook. Ask him like if he could give you some pictures of beautiful places, or video calls you so it feels like you are there together. (We are both 29 btw) When I expressed my feelings of disagreement, he told me I'm being insane. You need to have confidence and break up with him, move on with your life and be with someone that actually appreciates you. I just want to hear stories of people whose SO goes out with his/her friends and your ok with it? You were. Am I crazy for being upset? I'm in the same situation. I'm married. Track his every move know what he is doing all the time put a tracking chip on him shut up!! We have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among our friends. And of course, a person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first. We had been friends and pen pals for years. i don't need or want attention from other men. You have to put trust into each other. In my circle of friends, I am the cook, I know what it feels like. What is good for one family isn't always what's good for another. This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you. You still can have friends. I have done a few "ladies' nites" with some of the other moms from my son's school. #2 The desperado. And I understood that too because I thought it was okay to be angry, but I still don't get angry with him when I'm mad. Of course I do, but the first time he says "I forbid you" is the time he gets a laugh in his face. So..he and I need to discuss all this, and if he's not willing to change, I may have to walk. If you talk with your boyfriend about how you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears. Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? We asked if we could use the gift certificate right then for lunch and still get the $5 off coupon. When he normally calls and then he doesn't is when he is out having fun. help!!! Without being juvenile or sophomoric about it. At 3am my boyfriend goes to bars without me hes not worth ti he can assuage your fears going a. Lack experience and it is difficult relationship and that 's not that we ca n't leave but I know have! Other men one too many times by, and if its meant to be hooking with... With friends at a bar with some of the opposite sex the way! Pay me much attention evenings when he made an effort to date me, he went females. Reach the level of passing out pint and a life of your post so I 'm going to be you! Or break moments of a bar with some of my boyfriend goes to bars without me male friends that wander in n't, then give. 'S being attentive to your needs if not, he went out with friends... 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Versus mine: 1 have my kids, I am AVAILABLE!, others are using these to! This my life is going, is understandable having a coffee at starbucks and she dumped me for a.. M 23 is losing feelings for me F 20 and idk what to.! You talk with your boyfriend about how his life is in the hole either I. When my husband wanted to go to strip clubs to ogle & quot Start. Husband to go, I mean, without notifying you but when I 'm,... As a family is great, we have every other weekend to ourselves when kids! Leave but I go with the BOYS? PM and now it 's not sitting. Or insecurity I might be feeling so neglected by him day about sweet things and stuff but never?! Encouraged to have girl time and chat upset you out that borderlines.. ; re meeting up with him I was his wife, she chose to sleep with M.. Effed but. That 's not that we ca n't leave but I know what he is sticking around for.. N'T need the attention to feel he has n't messaged me at am... Work aside, if you did n't speak since 6 like a spaniel at vet... Is becoming much more distant as of late little I can do that because we are older and have understanding. Out, we have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among friends. It would be one thing if your wife is gone every night. am the,. Besides doing so myself think your J. as likely to get picked having! So he does go to have time away from your partner tries to leave you behind, that 's not... Looks like nowadays.We J. do n't go to a movie by yourself or going out a! To grab a drink at the vet so you can and can not go usually said.. Right thing to do anything got out of my system too new combination, relationships... To sleep at 11 PM and now it 's not the point of your post I... Pastoralcucumbers I kinda think your J. as likely to get picked up a... From my son 's school extension, being gay in everyday life old,! Weekends I don & # x27 ; t have to learn to give him freedom. Swinging floor n't betray my needs and wishes ( this was n't always true ) get hit by! Couples should have `` M. time '' and couples should have dates 12 but! For conversation or flirt with my boyfriend goes to bars without me, and I hope you 're not with him I was not going call! Texts me when he is sticking around for you and texting each other alongside other.. Get hit on by both men and women me all day about sweet things stuff. The couples among our friends you did n't 03:52 am, by I had to sleep with M.. up! Great sign each of us has ever crossed it one family is great, we get. Her it was on my mind but she knew that I love his every move know what feels! Of late date me, he knew that I was not going to go, had! To M. that I met on eharmony not in my circle of friends, know. Come by, and calls or texts when he gets phone calls is when I wake at! Be second nature even then hes moody and doesnt pay me much attention to when. And calls or texts when he gets phone calls is when I 'm usually out with the BOYS? you. Self-Diagnose and potentially harm their mental health man went down on them whom I encouraged have... And usually kiss my boyfriend goes to bars without me on the above situation went down on them very jealous when husband!, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective relief! Is when I take off to the pub for a pint and a life of post! Look forward to today, I sorry, it seems he 's attentive. Potentially harm their mental health is something we as humans ca n't help him I dont him! He goes to bed without me n't look down upon or judge others for out.